A Signal Transduction Pathway Infinitely More Painful for Me to Learn than Any Pathway in Introductory Biochemistry:
Seeing the new Pokemon game/pack of cards at Target
A quickening pace away
In the pediatric cancer unit
Some of the other kids ask me if they are going to be okay.
The clack of a dropped plastic shopping basket
Thankfully he never asks,
and we are both spared
from hearing my broken voice.
Catalyzed by memories of little giggles that will never kiss the air again
”You don’t look like an adult
You look like a big kid!” he tells me.
I laugh and say,
”I think all adults are big kids on the inside.”
Inhibiting the protein that holds back stockpiled tears
He giggles
when we play with Pokémon figures—his favorite.
Increasing the flux of fluid out of lacrimal glands
I accidentally break
the tail off of a toy and
Increasing [Concerned Looks from Strangers]
I promise to get him a new one
for the next time
Ending - for now - with three final products:
1) dampening t-shirt sleeves,
the next time
2) regret over a
broken promise, and
the next time.
3) a big kid
who wonders
if he is
cut out
for being
cut up
like this
again.