“Hello? Is this thing on?”
“Yes Buelo, it’s working. You can come out now.” “Hello! Is anyone there!”
“Yes, Buelo, I’m right here!”
“Agh! Goodness Vickie you’re gonna give me a heart attack! Where did you come from?”
“Sorry. I was waiting outside but you weren’t hearing me.”
“It’s okay mija… Uh, can we hug in this thing?”
“We sure can!”
“...”
“I’ve missed you so much, Buelo. You’re the last one to visit me ya know?”
“Really? I thought Tony still hadn’t -”
“Nope, Tony visited three months ago.”
“…”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m still glad you’re here.”
“Gee, I can barely believe I’m actually doing this. I mean, look at you! You look so… real.”
“It’s because I am…real.”
“Of course, of course… I don’t mean any offense by it. It’s just different than what I expected.”
“Don’t worry, everyone’s first time is like this. Thankfully, I was able to afford a high-fidelity reconstruction, so I’m beyond uncanny valley but just shy of the real thing. You’ll get used to it pretty quick, trust me.”
“I trust you…”
“Just so I’m aware, did you buy a guest pass, or did you go all in for the subscription?”
“I wanna see how it goes first before paying the hefty subscription fee. I only got a two-hour guest pass for today.I hope that’s okay.”
“Totally, totally, that makes sense.”
“…”
“Okayyyy, well, since we only have two hours, do you want to go to the park and just talk? Catch up?”
“Uhhh, yeah, I think that would be nice.” “Great! You can follow me out this door.”
“Where does thi- Oh! We’re already here! We were just in that room, how are we-”
“Convenient, right? I set our liminal egress point to my favorite spot in the park, right by the lake. It’s one of the perks of living in the digital world.”
“Nifty…”
“Come, let’s sit at this bench.”
“…”
“…”
“So, are you still working as a software engineer?”
“Yeah, I’m still at the same company I was with pre-upload. My team is currently working on improving our consciousness encryption systems, since they’re good at stopping low-grade identity theft but there have beengrowing issues with illegal copies roaming around.”
“I heard something about that on the news. The thought of running into another me gives me the heebie-jeebies.”
“You and me both. I do sympathize with the illegal copies, though. They don’t know they’re doppelgangers until one day they’re apprehended, confronted with the truth, and sentenced to deletion without trial.”
“Huh…”
“I hope one day we’ll find a better way of dealing with them. Maybe build a separate server space or-”
“Vickie… I think I’m gonna go back now.” “What? You just gothere.”
“Yeah, I just…”
“Is everything okay? If you don’t like the park we can go somewhere else. Here, let me pull up a liminal entry pointand we can go to my apart-”
“Please, no, I just… I wanna leave… this. How do I leave?”
“I don’t understand, Buelo. Is it something I said?”
“Uh… I… no… I can’t be here anymore. I need to leave. How do I leave?”
“Buelo, what’s going on? It’s okay, you can talk to me.”
“I don’t want to. I need to leave. Take me out. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come. How do I leave? Take me out. Please, how do I get out! Take me out. Take me out!”
“Abuelo, calm down! Everything’s okay.”
“I can’t take this! One second you’re on your couch, the next you’re standing in an empty beige room talking to your dead granddaughter. The park, the copies of copies of people. I need to go back! None of this is real! Take me out! How do I get out!”
“Abuelo, please! People are looking at us!”
“How do I get out!”
“It’s okay, Buelo, it’s okay. I got you.” “Take me out…”
“Everything’s okay, Buelo. I’m here. You’re okay. I got you.” “How do I…”
“Some people have a harder time adjusting to this space. It’s okay, Buelo, I’m here with you. I’ll help you through it.”
“Take…”
“Everything’s okay…” “…”
“…”
“…”
“Mom told me.”
“…”
“Mom told me about your diagnosis. I’ve known since the start.”
“What exactly has she told you…”
“Everything. I know about your metastatic bladder cancer. That your third line treatment wasn’t successful.”
“That sounds about right.”
“I’m really sorry that you’re going through that, Buelo. I can only imagine what it must be like.”
“Are you though?”
“Excuse me?”
“Are you really sorry for me? Do you even feel anything?”
“Why are you-”
“Are you really my granddaughter?”
“Why you are you asking all of this?”
“Why did you upload yourself?”
“Buelo, I don’t know if this is the best time to talk about that.”
“I’m serious. I used to read bedtime stories to my granddaughter. I saw her walk across a stage and get her engineering degree. I was proud of her. She visited me every Sunday to drink coffee and tell me about her life. I loved her intensely. Then she left me, and I never understood why. During the horrible months of chemo, she wasn’t there. No one came to drink coffee with me. Did she die? Are you really her?”
“…”
“I got your letters. I read them all. You never brought up my cancer.”
“I saw the read receipts…. I wanted to give you the chance to tell me about it. Why did you never write back?”
“I was afraid… Angry… Confused.”
“…”
“I knew that if I wrote back, I would be admitting that you are, in fact, my Vickie. And that if I admit it, I would be accountable for the growing gap between us. Between me and whatever you are.”
“So then why did you finally decide to write to me and visit?”
“My counselor asked me if I wanted to upload myself.”
“Oh.”
“She suggested that I should visit you before making up my mind.” “I think that was agood idea on her part.”
“…”
“…”
“What was it like? When you uploaded yourself.”
“Well… It wasn’t an easy choice. I knew from the start that it would alienate me from certain people. The pre-upload counseling did a good job of preparing my mind, of settling my doubts and concerns. When I finally uploaded, I had a short period of adjustment, but I was at peace with my decision. People visited me occasionally. Imade new friends here, I made a life.”
“How did you get past the problem of permanence?”
“You mean maintaining continuity of consciousness?”
“Yeah, that thing.”
“Sounds like you’ve been doing your research, that’s good. Unfortunately, I can’t give you a straight answer. No one can prove it. But I can tell you that when I uploaded, I felt like myself, I knew I was myself. And that’s what I choose to focus on.”
“You don’t care what happened to your body?”
“I try not to be sentimental about it. I think my organs were donated, but they never told me to whom.”
“So you don’t care that you might be a copy?”
“Buelo, we could debate for hours on end about this and never reach a conclusion. Maybe Vickie died and I’m a soulless copy of neural patterns living in a server. Maybe I’m the same me from before uploading. Either way, I still go to work, I still read books in this park by this lake, I still get visits from my family, even Tony! How much does solving permanence really change any of that?”
“I see.”
“…”
“I’m sorry…”
“For?”
“I’m sorry for losing it just now… And for never responding to your letters until last week. And that I never visitedyou until now… I still don’t understand what you are, what I’m saying sorry to, but I’m sorry.”
“Ay Buelo. This thing that you don’t understand forgives you. I forgive you, because I still love you. Come, give mea hug.”
“…”
“…”
“I, uh, still want to leave now. All of this is still a lot to take in. No offense.”
“I understand. Letme pull up a liminal entry point for you.”
“Thanks.”
“All set. When you’re inside, just close your eyes for ten seconds. When you open them, you’ll be back in the physical world.”
“The real world…”
“One of them.”
“Sure,one of them.”
“…”
“Hey, uh, I think I might get the subscription. Can I come back next week?”
“That would be nice. Want to have coffee in my apartment this time?” “Yeah, let’s do that.”
“Sounds like a plan. Bye, Buelo. See you soon.”
“Bye, Vickie. I love you…I think…”