Love of a Lost Friend

Fiona McIntosh
2023

"Love of a Lost Friend" was a poem I wrote as a reflection on the way the way I felt the presence of one of my closest confidants, the pain and suffering of losing this person, and the way that I found their memory and life continuing to guide and inspire me as I continued my life after their death. Thinking about the process in metaphor allowed me to reflect on it at a distance and heal from it more fully.

The sun was new

            I had only just seen it

And I could not fathom

            that I had lived without it

Every glorious ray, the warmth,

            the light, the joy, the laughter

The Illumination

            It will be here forever, always

guiding my steps, lighting the path

ahead.

            But then, suddenly, it set. The

light gone. Cold, dark confusion its

successor.

            The path is gone, fumbling in

shadows becomes life. Glimpses of

its traces play in my mind, but

they turn to emptiness when

pursued.

            How can I live without it?

            I am lost, forsaken.

Tears fall to the dirt below. But in

them is a glimmer – a reflection.

There is some light, some lesser

Illumination.

My eyes are raised. The silver

sphere radiantly reflects the loving

glow of the sun.

            It lacks the warmth, the

nearness

            But it is there, is real, is

present and true

            And it beckons me onward,

lighting my way, though dimly

            And promising me that, one day,

the sun will rise again, emerge triumphantly from its rest

            The immense glow, the warmth,

the comfort return

            More radiantly than before

            And, then, it will

Never set