Love of a Lost Friend
Fiona McIntosh
2023
"Love of a Lost Friend" was a poem I wrote as a reflection on the way the way I felt the presence of one of my closest confidants, the pain and suffering of losing this person, and the way that I found their memory and life continuing to guide and inspire me as I continued my life after their death. Thinking about the process in metaphor allowed me to reflect on it at a distance and heal from it more fully.
The sun was new
I had only just seen it
And I could not fathom
that I had lived without it
Every glorious ray, the warmth,
the light, the joy, the laughter
The Illumination
It will be here forever, always
guiding my steps, lighting the path
ahead.
But then, suddenly, it set. The
light gone. Cold, dark confusion its
successor.
The path is gone, fumbling in
shadows becomes life. Glimpses of
its traces play in my mind, but
they turn to emptiness when
pursued.
How can I live without it?
I am lost, forsaken.
Tears fall to the dirt below. But in
them is a glimmer – a reflection.
There is some light, some lesser
Illumination.
My eyes are raised. The silver
sphere radiantly reflects the loving
glow of the sun.
It lacks the warmth, the
nearness
But it is there, is real, is
present and true
And it beckons me onward,
lighting my way, though dimly
And promising me that, one day,
the sun will rise again, emerge triumphantly from its rest
The immense glow, the warmth,
the comfort return
More radiantly than before
And, then, it will
Never set