Admit

Sara Kandler
2023

Valet parking, thank God 
steady now 
glass doors, sign-in line, Covid check 
we’re good  
we’re fine  

find a wheelchair  
hands grip tight 
tell graveyard jokes 
in fight or flight 
me in my bold print dress 
flying along 
you in your sporty sweats 
one arm out strong  

a lifeline from the second floor 
dangling 
the carousel’s golden ring  

Get admitted like it’s Harvard 
no ruby tee or ivied yard 
but endless beige and sallow walls  
bland maze of musty stalls 
floor sweepers, bed changers, pulse takers 
injectors, inspectors 
in green or blue color-coded costumes 
never once explained to you  

then the leads dash through drab curtains 
bleached white pockets 
cursive names 
say hey there, Sam or Jane 
no shame 
sling shot slung around the neck 
hearing hearts, scanning charts 
giving orders, signing off  

Ninety, sure, but I don’t see why 
he’d say no to giving chemo a try 
there’s no guarantee (I’m not gonna lie) 
he could surprise us all  
teach his residents again this fall  

sunlight jars 
fumes from the car 
fold you in 
after journeying far 
to a clinical galaxy 

me, your novice proxy 

and settle you home 
too often alone 
long mahogany table 
newspapers strewn 
glasses, meds, radio 
a tall mug of decaf tea — 
It was worth it, Dad, see?